MetzgerCartoons.com - News/Writing/Misc.

A "thank you" to two doctors

Thu, 17 May 2012 06:04:09 -0800

A couple weeks ago, I had an emergency appendectomy. My physician and surgeon at Kaiser—Dr. Ruth Holly and Dr. Jennifer Plunkett respectively—were both great and my experience in the hospital was about as pleasant as it could be.

Once I started feeling better, I drew a cartoon and emailed it to Dr. Holly and Dr. Plunkett as a “thank you.” (They saved my life and I thanked them with a silly cartoon. Well, it’s better than nothing.)

Here it is:

Yesterday I had my phone follow-up appointment with Dr. Plunkett, the surgeon. During the conversation, she told me she loves the cartoon and showed it to several of her colleagues. She said, "Now it's on my office door." That made my day.

At the end of the phone call, Dr. Plunkett jokingly said, “I hope you never need to see me again.” I hope not, too. But if I do, I know I’ll be in good hands.

Running a joke into the ground

Fri, 04 May 2012 08:04:44 -0800

Several years ago, my good friend Bob (owner of greeting card store called Two Neat) and I collaborated on this greeting card:

It’s a cheap joke but it was cracking us up. Bob decided to put it in his store to see if it would sell and, despite some people telling us we’re going to hell, it turned out to be a big hit. At that point, Bob did what any self-respecting retail genius would do: He made a “Stevie Wonder” card for every major and minor holiday:

Happy Cinco de Mayo a day early! Stevie is raising his margarita glass to you.

EDIT: I had an emergency appendectomy last week and Bob sent me this get-well card the other day. He's added another card to the Stevie line. This really made me laugh.

Topless Couple on the Beach Cartoon - It's a Greeting Card!

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 15:35:57 -0800

The above cartoon has been making the rounds on the internet so I thought I'd shamelessly promote that it’s now available as a greeting card!

Now you can say “Happy Birthday” with man boobs!

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 21:53:54 -0800

A friend of mine, Bob Williard, recently suggested a cartoon idea. I usually don’t draw other people’s ideas but I decided to quickly sketch this one out, just for fun. Here it is:

Two bowls of Oatmeal who have kids that are cookies - it raises a few questions:

Are these cookies from a previous marriage? Did they adopt these cookies? Or, God forbid, did Mrs. Oatmeal have a torrid affair with this guy and Mr. Oatmeal is totally clueless?

Whatever the situation is, they seem to be raisin’ them well.

Life imitates art

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 10:32:35 -0800

A few weeks ago, I was making dinner and, as I was chopping up an onion, I cut my finger. It wasn’t a deep cut but it hurt, it caused some bleeding, and it made me yell out, “Fucking hell!”

What seemed like a second later, my almost four-year-old daughter (who had just been playing in the living room) was standing a few feet behind me.

“Daddy, you’re not supposed to say that word,” she said.

“What word?”

“That ‘fucking’ word.”

She said it so calmly and without any expression. It was a little disturbing.

As Kate was looking up at me, I told her that she was right, that I shouldn’t use that word, all the while wondering how the heck she got over to the kitchen so fast. Even when I don’t think she’s listening, that kid hears everything.

Fast forward a few weeks later. While I was driving Kate to preschool one morning, a guy pulled out from a side street, cutting in front of me, almost hitting my car.

“Jackass,” I said, under my breath.

“What happened?” Kate said.

“Nothing, sweetie. I’m just frustrated at the driver ahead of me.”

“In the red car?”

“Yes, in the red car,” I said. ”No big deal. He just surprised me.”

I drove the last two blocks to the preschool and parked the car. The guy in the red car, it turns out, was also going to the preschool. He parked a few spaces over. As I was getting Kate out of the car, she pointed to the guy (who was just getting out of his car) and said, “That’s the jackass!”

Luckily he was out of earshot, so there was no awkward moment. It was only another reminder that I need to be careful about what I say around my daughter. But hey, at least I didn’t use “that ‘fucking’ word.”

Later, I realized this incident was eerily similar to a cartoon I drew years ago. I drew this cartoon below back in 2003, five years before Kate was born.

Now I’m thinking I should draw a cartoon about a guy winning the lottery.

New stuff and Dragon Nerds

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 15:42:34 -0800

It’s been more than a month since I posted a new carton and yesterday I got an email that said, “How come you haven’t posted any new stuff lately?” That was the entire email. The person didn’t even leave their name so I didn’t bother replying. Despite kind of implying that I’m one of these, the guy (I’m assuming it was a guy) did have a valid question so I’ll respond here.

Where are the new cartoons? What the heck have I been up to?

I haven’t had much drawing time lately because I’ve been pretty busy. Life stuff. But I’m always thinking of cartoon ideas and I’ve been filling up the ol’ drawing pad with various sketches and jokes—some decent, some bad, some really bad. There were a few jokes I was unsure about so I showed them to my wife (her reactions were mainly eye-rolling and/or head-shaking). I have a general rule: if you have to ask someone “Is this funny?” it’s usually not funny.

The rare exception to that rule happened recently. Several months ago, I sketched out an idea which turned out to be this cartoon:

The idea made me chuckle at first but I wasn’t sure about it. I had second thoughts. So I showed it to my wife, who said, “I don’t get it but I really like the dragons. They’re cute.” The idea ended up staying in my sketchbook for weeks because I thought it was too “niche” and possibly too wordy…basically I just wasn’t sure if it was worth spending the time to finish.

One day, I decided to draw it and posted it on Facebook. I figured if it was a flop, at least I’d be satisfied about the drawing. To my surprise, people liked it a lot. And to my utter surprise, it ended up going viral. Over the past few weeks, thousands of people have shared it on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+ and Pinterest.

This made me realize two things: 1. My judgment is crap sometimes and 2. A heck of a lot of people out there play D & D, used to play D & D, and also seem to like nerdy dragons.

I want to thank those who’ve shared this cartoon. Power to the dragon nerds!

As for new stuff….it’s coming next week.

Valentine's Day cards

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:28:12 -0800

Have you bought your Valentine’s Day cards yet? Of course you haven’t. It’s a month away. You have plenty of time.

But the days go by fast and the next thing you know, you’re rushing into a Walgreen’s at 5:37p.m. on February 13 and finding out that the only Valentine’s Day cards left have either sappy-sentimental greetings or really dumb jokes (like group of cartoon bananas and inside it says, “I love you a BUNCH!”)

You don’t want those cards. Your significant other, friends and family don’t want those cards either. (Well, your 87-year-old grandmother might like the bananas card.)

I happen to have two Valentine’s Day cards for sale right now. Buy your cards today and rest easy knowing you’re covered. Click on the image to purchase. For the second one, you can personalize it with your very own greeting.

Happy Valentine’s Day a month early!

Do’Raath, The Klingon Barista

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:36:20 -0800

A while back, my friend Lucas Turnbloom, cartoonist of Imagine This, came up with a really great character: Do’Raath, The Klingon Barista. Do’Raath works at Starbucks and serves up lattes, mochas and cappuccinos…with honor!

Do’Raath isn’t a regular character in Imagine This (he only appears from time to time) but he never fails to crack me up. Below is one of my favorite Do’Raath strips. Other Do’Raath appearances are: Here, and here, and here.

And if you have never read Imagine This, do yourself a favor and go through the archive. It’s a very funny strip.

Robert Earl Keen's "Merry Christmas from the Family"

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:15:03 -0800

One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Merry Christmas from the Family" by Robert Earl Keen (whoever posted the YouTube video below misspelled his last name). I discovered this song a couple years ago and it quickly became one of my favorites of the holiday season. I love this song almost as much as I love Christmas classics like, "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)," "Silent Night," and "Jingle Bells."

Here’s how Wikipedia sums it up:

"Merry Christmas from the Family" describes the Christmas gathering of a fairly dysfunctional Texas family whose merrymaking—which includes drinking alcohol, carving a turkey, watching a televised ball game and smoking cigarettes—seems to be punctuated with Christmas music and the need to run to convenience stores for additional supplies such as fake snow.

"Merry Christmas from the Family" is pure genius. Take a listen and enjoy the excellent video.

I hope you had a very merry Christmas. And Happy New Year!

Mill Valley Map

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:45:59 -0800

The blog Mill Valley Life did an excellent write-up about the new Mill Valley Map, which is being distributed in many fine establishments in downtown Mill Valley. I was hired to illustrate the map.

Thanks to Bob (my friend and owner of Two Neat) and Sylvia "Chipps" Barsky for conceiving this project and rallying local merchants to be a part of it. I enjoyed working on this.

For fun, we put (Mill Valley resident) Bonnie Raitt on the map. You can’t see her on the low-res version below but on the print version, she’s visible. Barely. If you live in the area and pick up the map, you can have some Where’s Waldo-type fun by looking for Bonnie Raitt.